Real talk: Religion
Disclaimer
The idea of religion has always been confusing to me. It was always odd to me that something so matter of fact, was something that most of the world’s population disagrees on. The question of religion and where we come from is a BIG one. It’s what gives a lot of us meaning, it’s what quiets our fears of death, and gives us a purpose in life. For some people, religion means nothing except for what they hear from others or have experienced in their life. For some, religion is everything. Some spend their time worshipping and dedicating their life to their God. But religion is one of the only things none of us know for sure. You can find comfort in your beliefs, whatever may be, but at the end of the day, none of us actually know.
So I want to start by saying that whatever you believe, or don’t believe, is up to you and only you. I’m not here to judge anyone for their beliefs or for what makes them who they are. I think everyone’s beliefs should be celebrated. All I can do, is share with you how I grew up and what led me to the beliefs I carry today. Then I will be asking on our Instagram stories for you all to share your own experiences with me!
The Backstory
I’ll start with my own story, I grew up in a Christian household. When I was first born we went to church every Sunday and I was dedicated in the Christian Church when I was one. My family went to three different churches around our town throughout my childhood. I remember going to Sunday School and absolutely hating it but I think that was mostly because I had to be seperated from my family and be with strangers. Social anxiety was real as a child. My Grandma was a chef at one of the churches we visited and I enjoyed eating breakfast as a family after service ended. As time went on, we started going to church less and less. My dad stopped going, and then eventually we were all only joining the Easter and Christmas crew.
Throughout elementary school I started to meet people who had different religions. My neighborhood friend was Jewish and I was so interested in her Hanukkah celebrations and would always ask her questions about her beliefs. As far as I knew, they were the same as us Christians, but just didn’t believe in Jesus. One of my bestfriends was Catholic. I went to church with her a few times and learned that their services felt more serious and traditional. There was a family at my school who were Jehovah Witness , and all I knew was that they weren’t allowed to celebrate their birthdays or any holidays with the class. Another good friend of mine’s family was Mormon. All I knew about them, was that their rules were stricter and they weren’t allowed to drink soda or watch a lot of the TV I did. I also knew that I wasn’t allowed to go to their church with them because I was not Mormon myself. It’s safe to say that as a kid, I didn’t know much about any religion except the one I grew up in. I also knew that all these people I knew, who didn’t believe what I did, weren’t allowed to go to Heaven. These wonderful, kind, people would be going to Hell based on my religion’s standards. But they fully believed that their beliefs and practices are what put them in the position to go to Heaven, and that my beliefs were the ones who would send me to Hell. This thought process confused me very much. After learning more about the history of religion in school and meeting more people from different types of families and backgrounds, I realized that your religion is usually based on where you are born and the way you grow up. If God made made the entire world, why would he make a large portion unaware of Him and Jesus? If God loved everyone, why would he give people these other beliefs that would send them to Hell? What made my religion the correct one because I was born in a White upper middle-class home in America? These are questions I have had for a very long time, and to be honest still have today.
From then on, my questions grew, but I continued practicing religion on and off , trying to find a relationship with God. My family was basically only going to church for major Holidays , but I was also going to Youth Group every Wednesday. I enjoyed Youth Group because it was really just time with my friends. We got to hang out outside of school and make friends with kids from different schools. Along the way we would have to memorize Bible verses, learn lessons and more. I enjoyed it overall, but I wouldn’t say I was ever fully into or believing the things I was memorizing. A lot of my friends were baptized throughout elementary school and middle school but something held me back from doing that. I felt like I wasn’t experiencing what those people were and it wasn’t right for me to do it.
In middle school I continued going to Youth Group every Wednesday but I could feel my beliefs slipping more and more. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in a higher power, I always have. What I didn’t believe in, was some of the things I was reading throughout the Bible and the way it was being taught. I didn’t believe that my friends who believed in a different religion were going to be condemned for it. I believed that God loves all his creation, and still do. The summer between seventh and eighth grade, my brother came out as gay. I was super excited about this and excited that my brother no longer had to hide who he was. I came to church the next Wednesday, excited to tell all my friends and youth group leaders. When I told the woman who taught my group specifically, she told me how wrong it was and that I needed to talk with him and get him to change his mind; possibly try conversion therapy. I was shocked and heartbroken. I didn’t believe anything she was saying but I knew it was time for me to stop going to church. Throughout High School, my beliefs pretty much stayed the same. I wasn’t practicing religion in any way but I still believed in some sort of higher power. Whenever bad things would happen I would pray and promise God I would start praying more and not only when bad things happen. Never happened lol. I would watch other people in the churches I grew up in and they were some of the most hateful people I knew. They were full of negativity and judgement and I began to associate the church with that hatefulness. There is also gigantic sexual shame throughout the church, which is too much to even get into here. I’m sure if you grew up in a religion household, you know what I’m talking about. We’ll get into it during our Real Talk on Sex.
My beliefs now
Throughout college, I’ve wanted to investigate my beliefs more. I’ve taken several religion classes in hopes to learn more about religions besides the one I grew up in. It’s been so interesting to learn more about different cultures and the history of these religions. I’ve really resonated with Buddhist beliefs, and I think their practices are very beautiful. I still sometimes look to the bible or certain verses to gain clarity about a situation or give me some hope. I pray almost every single day and it actually really helps with my anxiety. I also don’t agree with A LOT of things in the bible, like most things. I look at it simply as stories and life lessons, which I think there can be great things to take from. But I also think there are great things to take from every other religion. In a way, I kinda believe all religions are the same. After all, they all are based around the same concept of a higher power. Of course there are many differences between them. But I think at the end of the day, any religion leads to a similar result. Worshipping, praying, manifesting; they are all not that different to me. I recently took a Health Disparities course where we learned about practicing religions affect on one’s health. It is shown that people who practice a religion, tend to live longer and have less serious diseases; but that can be any religion. It can also be if you are atheist and believe in nothing , as long as you firmly believe it. The findings show that what affects health, is the struggling with what you believe in. Those who have a wavering relationship with a higher power, tend to live shorter and experience more anxiety, depression, and serious diseases. I’ll continue to explore my beliefs and learn more about other religions. I believe that being a good and kind human being is what will get a person to heaven. I don’t think one’s beliefs are a contributing factor. I have no idea what God looks like or if he/she/it doesn’t even want to be referred to as God. Alexa play God is a woman by Ariana Grande. I believe in ghosts and that our loved ones can also stick around here with us. I sometimes feel like I believe in reincarnation. There are some crazy studies and videos out there if you look it up! I don’t necessarily believe that Jesus died for our sins, or I guess I should say I don’t believe that that is the one aspect a person needs to believe in order to go to Heaven. I respect other people’s beliefs and have no doubt that they will also go to Heaven as long as they are a good person. I’m so interested in exploring theories of religion and others beliefs about what is out there. After all, it is one of the only questions we don’t know the answer to, but we can learn from each other.
I saw this video on TikTok and really resonated with it, maybe you will too! CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO
Come share your experiences and thoughts about religion with us on Instagram! Visit our stories to tell your story or send us a DM! @FinleyandSadie
